mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
