Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
