Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
this beer tastes like vomit already
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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