my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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