Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
