6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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