Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
