pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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