JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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