You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
