he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
