I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
