Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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