im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
