Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
