what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
