id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
