For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
