This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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