Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
