Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
