Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
