Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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