yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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