And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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