So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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