Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
