you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
