And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
