Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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