i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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