i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
