i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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