We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
