how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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