So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
