That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
