I want to stick my p in your. b.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
