On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
