I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
