what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
