I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
