Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
