I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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