so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
