do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
