i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
