I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
