I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
