The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
